I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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