4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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