His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
