I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
