I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
