you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
