i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
