I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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