We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize