just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
