I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
