did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
