Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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