i just had sex bonerless
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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