What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
