I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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