i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
