Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
