jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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