What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
