Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
COCAINE IS GR8
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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