yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
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YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize