i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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