somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
