bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
please come you make the beer taste better
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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