Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
