I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
