i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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