turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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