you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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