just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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