I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize