just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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