Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
