I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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