how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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