He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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