I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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