I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
