im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
