sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dating After Heartbreak
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him