so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.