I just cut my nipple shaving
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.