Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

Two?

(404): View more from Georgia

Two.

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(404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf

Replies (261) Good night (4416) Bad night (79000)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Who keeps a bong in their car??

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.

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(402): Who keeps a bong in their car?? (1-402): Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/uih3

Replies (34) Good night (3788) Bad night (678)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.

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(706): Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze. http://tfl.nu/gtjj

Replies (9) Good night (5254) Bad night (1004)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job. http://tfl.nu/jeil

Replies (56) Good night (10039) Bad night (992)
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(716): View more from New York

God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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(716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw

Replies (32) Good night (5334) Bad night (1135)
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(816): View more from Missouri

He passed out mid-signature

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(816): He passed out mid-signature http://tfl.nu/lnp2

Replies (4) Good night (3998) Bad night (1190)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

(231): View more from Michigan

OMG its one we used last night

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(231): Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing" (231): OMG its one we used last night http://tfl.nu/jpyf

Replies (19) Good night (1119) Bad night (9241)
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(469): View more from Texas

I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.

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(469): I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom. http://tfl.nu/d1jb

Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (3058)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before

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(339): 100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before http://tfl.nu/n0g6

Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (434)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.

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(304): Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/4u1i

Replies (6) Good night (1158) Bad night (732)
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(706): View more from Georgia

The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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(706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd

Replies (10) Good night (2357) Bad night (622)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success

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(505): Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success http://tfl.nu/y0qf

Replies (0) Good night (1071) Bad night (294)
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(407): View more from Florida

Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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(407): Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks. http://tfl.nu/yvne

Replies (6) Good night (1643) Bad night (325)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.

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(508): Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life. http://tfl.nu/dd0r

Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (238)
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(315): View more from New York

Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...

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(315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive... http://tfl.nu/bhkn

Replies (3) Good night (293) Bad night (439)

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