I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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