So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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