Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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