the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
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He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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