I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
