I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
