Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
