On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
