Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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