God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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