May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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