chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize