His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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