he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize