i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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