he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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