so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I smell stomach acid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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