tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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