i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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